The Wedding

Do you ever believe things happen for a reason? For weeks I've know that Jerry was going to marry Pattie. He called me before I was leaving for New Orleans for work to tell me that they were having a small ceremony at the church at 5pm. I told him I would be out of town, but very sorry that I missed it. You see, I would have gone to support Jerry (not the marriage).

Anyways, I went to the cemetery on 11/13/08 and like always, I talk to Mom...this time, I begged her for a sign as to whether or not she was ok with Jerry getting married. I thought, if I knew my Mom was ok with it then I could be ok with it. So on the wedding day, I called Jerry around 4pm to just let him know I was thinking about him and wanted to talk to him while he was still single. He laughed...but I was serious. He told me during the conversation that to think of this as a companionship...that comment eats at me. Why get married, if you feel that is what it is. After I hung up the phone...I cried...I was sick to my stomach and then I thought there is a reason I'm not there. Obviously my sign was I was in New Orleans...my mom must have knew that I couldn't have dealt with it...and obviously to me she is not ok with it.